It's a struggle.
It's a fight.
It hurts.
And I often wonder... is it worth it?
But how could I ask such a thing...
When God has dredged me out of the muddy swamp,
cleaned me up, and set me on A Rock?
How could I ask such a thing...
When He, through His own incomprehensible suffering
Made Eternal Life With Him possible for me?
When even Heaven's angels gape at what I have,
Wondering how it can all be possible?
When I have been selected and set apart
For incredible opportunity
Being a vessel of the One Holy God who says
He Is Love?
He is Love.
A Love that has bled for me.
A Love that has suffered torture and humiliation,
Abandonment to a long and Lonely death
And a Hellish time with none to rescue?
But the Way He leads hurts
As I read recently, Messy-Love it Is
I might add, a rather bloody Way as well.
And at times I want to retreat
Because I don't always feel that Love
I just feel the Mess.
And I get lonely.
And preoccupied with self.
And what I suffer.
And didn't get in life.
And am still not getting.
I have a lot to learn
about the Love of God.
About resting in Him.
About trusting Him.
Dear Heavenly Father...
Let me In to You.
I want to get closer,
need to get closer.
I'm knocking...
timid, tired,
but knocking.
_________________________________________
WOGing continues...
